Big Bang theory might not be the theory of everything but The Big Bang Theory is one of the most favourite series of mine. I know some of you, who used to watch it, are not finding it interested any more. But yes, I still love the show.
Rajesh Koothrappali is one of favourite characters. He used to be more shy and needy one, almost like me. But throughout the seasons he has been changing a lot. Now, in new episodes, you can see his hair style is very similar to Kunal Nayyar.
It does not matter how long they have stayed. Every individual you see in your life, all influences your thoughts, your experiences and your life. You may not know them. You may not talk to them. You may not be in love. True to my experience, the feelings you might have, experiences you might have, thoughts you might think, all those things on which your life is depending on, get affected by all those people.
You cannot do anything about it. Because that is how your universe keeps the balance in the reality of your life.
So it is okay if you do not get to know someone or befriend with everyone or may be in love with the one. At least, unknowingly, that person got to be a part of your world and may be at least once you might have got to be the part of their thought.
Now, before you get overwhelmed about it, take a deep breath, inhale all of those good influences and exhale all those unnecessary over-thoughts. So that the universe can take care of everything else.
So, as usual, I was not able to sleep. As I tried to sleep early, could not push mind into the deep, it did not take long to the flood of thoughts to rush in. Like it was time for a revision of life happened yet. With each revision, I wonder how differently I think with new experiences and bubbles of many ideas floats in the air. Well, I can write a very brief summary of various things comes with the flood.
“I cannot believe the position where I am sitting on right now. Or am I standing somewhere? On my own feet! I cannot decide for sure. Sometimes it seems like I am flying. The thin air of coldness hitting on my face with a whisper into my ears. Or is it just a dream. A deep dream of a flight. But then, eventually, I have to return to the reality that I am just that ordinary guy with goggles on a face to look out for those nightmares.
A reality of balance. Dreams on one side, same amount of nightmares on another. A flight through cold thin air towards the warmth of the day which again starts with another cold night. That is the wave of the universe. To keep the balance in nature.”
Well, with a hope to keep balance in life, I am back on track.
This time there was no pressure for any resolution. It was just like a normal weekend. Yeah, sure! I and friends had a small, just to keep up until midnight, fireworks and Maybe ‘Happy New Year’ wishes. It was simple. We all had a good meal and slept soon after 00:00:00.
Fast forward… It’s already 15th of Jan now. 15/365 of 2018 has already completed and still it feels like so normal as… you know.. normal. May be this what it is. Being an adult! I don’t know!!
I don’t know what has been coming. What would happen? 2017 was somewhat hurtful. But in the end, something happened with goodness. Still, some sadness found its way along with happiness. But that’s okay now. I have realised that, both were just at the end of each side of the stick, which I am still holding, to balance myself on the rope hanging at something I cannot see in the mist.
I realised I can do it. I capable enough to go through this mist. The realisation of not even being aware about the rope earlier, making me more… wise, I would say.
Hope I would see a whole new bridge at some point.
Recently I had to do a lot of signing. Not the digital one. Hand written signatures. And I was terrified to find about my inability to write a proper signature. Almost felt like an illiterate. I remember the time in college when we had to do lot of writing in notebooks. Teachers did read notes fast to finish them on time. We used to write fast to keep ourselves synced with them. Our hand would run like an athlete. And now, my hand get frozen while writing a signature.
My job requires me to spend most of time on computers. Writing codes by typing them on keyboards. Not on papers. Which would be a total waste. Hence, now for me, it is very difficult to write on a paper.
While putting all those signatures, had been frozen at some point. Frustrated for not able to end it properly. I needed to resolve this.
So I decided to make some time out to start writing again. And bought a new ink pen. A beautiful black Parker pen with matte coat.
I am already loving it so much. It looks so cool, that it excites me to write more. Now on, I will try to write on paper more often.
Anything… I can write anything. It would like a first draft of most of the future blog posts.
That would be a great idea. Would help to improve the handwriting and also content of posts as in second draft on computer.
All this began with an idea of resolving the inability to write a proper signature fluently.
This post was first written on paper. Which was very different than what you have read here.
So, with a hope to write more on paper and on blog, I am pausing here. For one step at time.
This Tuesday it was my birthday. We had a small celebration at our office. My colleague said I should do something good after office. I was feeling little out of mind for couple of days.
Well, I wanted to do something different anyway. So I decided to walk from office to home instead of booking a cab. Not much. Just 3.3 kms. It was nice. I felt good after walking so much far after a long time. And a little hard on my legs.
I am not planning to walk every day though. A 6.6 km of up & down every day, on foot, is not my cup. Yet!
It is human nature that one chooses a favourite colour based on inner feelings and personality that had been developed within the lifetime. From my young age, I was very attracted to black. A darker theme with black canvas containing white elements has always caught my eyes. In a way, I think, it was a representation of my inner-self.
Now, it seems like my inner perspective is changing. It wants to look for more brighter colour rather than a dark ones. Now I tend to choose themes with white canvas in many places.
It is telling me to fill a vanilla canvas with colourful elements. Now, it looks at the life as of a The Matrix-like simulators, where I can load any program for colourful output and experiences.
With the hope of keep being enlightened I have changed this blog’s theme with light colour and I am loving it so much.
When I was in school, very often used to read books out of the academy. Books from the libraries, at school and a nearby home. By the time, I lost interest to make time for such readings. Not the interest to read through. A long time later, now again I am able to make time. Well, I am not talking about the articles, tutorials and news related to my profession and the daily news. It is about books. Books by authors themselves.
Well, it has been turned out to be more interesting. It brings back those tiny fractions of moments from childhood. The very moments when the brainwaves kicks in with imaginative illustrations, various thoughts and excitements. Its like watching a cinema. All those texts you read get turned into moving films. If you are such a reader, you might know what I am talking about.
For the sake of this habit to keep going on, I created a profile at GoodReads.com. It is a kind of networking website for book readers. To search about the books, authors, keep tracks yours and your friends’ reads, who obviously has an account on it. So I can keep inspire myself to read more. Maybe I will find something new for my taste.
Actually, pain is not the real problem. The actual problem starts when you start to like the pain and hurt yourself to feel it. And it does not end there. Eventually, you want others also to feel it. And it makes you do terrible things.